The Hunger is Lame Games
by Insert a Catchy Penname Here
Summary: My name is Ratnest Evermean, and my sister, Little Duck Evermean, volunteered me for the 74th Yearly Hunger is Lame Games. My best friend Gauze is all jealous of Pitaful Mallheart, and all I've got is this stupid pin from Town 12. Maybe if I bribe President Winter enough, I can win.


The Hunger is Lame Games 1

_**Author Note: **_Paradies are fun, even when you really shouldn't be starting a new story because you have soooo many ^.^

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"SHUT UP YOU STUPID BIRD!"

Grabbing the stupid rooster by his scrawny neck, I throw it into the refridgerator and kick his severed body. It deserves it for waking me up this freaking early in the morning..it's freakin' two o'clock! My quota is _at earliest _four o'clock P.M. and anyone who doesn't know it is _stupid_.

"You killed it!" Duckie wails, shaking it's bloody neck everywhere, getting it's stupid chicken blood all over my boots, "you killed this innocent creature!"

"It was a stupid bird!" I scream, stomping on it's chest, "and it's two in the afternoon! TWO!"

"STOP FIGHTING! ALL OF YOU!" Mom yells, throwing her hands out like that old dead guy- Smozzie Ozporn or something like that- and glaring at us, even though she's wearing dark glasses so she can't see anything.

Ever since Dad died in the local incinator for trading a goose for a teddy bear, Mom has been enlisted to the Crazy Shack _a lot. _She was always so quiet and emo, too- it was so annoying to _me_. I mean, ever since she went all emotionaless-Ozporn on me, I've had to hunt to take care of Duckie. But it's not all that bad- it gives me a chance to see my _man_, Gauze.

"Where are you going, Ratnest?!" Duckie demands, grabbing onto my leg, "don't leave me alone with this useless blonde charector in excuse for anything better anyone could come up with as far!"

"Let go!" I demand, flinging her into her ugly mutant dog, Applemush- I tried to eat him when she brought him home, but she'd knocked me out with a frying pan, so I let her keep the vermon.

Rolling my eyes, I skip outside of the door in my new Converse. They light up when I walk, so all the animals will worship my lighty shoes so I can shoot them with my bow and arrow. Dad made them, saying they were special- too bad I broke most of them.

"OW!" I yell when the dumb electric fence zaps me, "stupid piece of metal!"

I live in Town 12, and we're on the very outside of Pan. It's all dusty and depressing here, and we make toys for all the bratty Capital children, using coal and chocolate to fire up the machines. It's a really dumb life, and my family I live in the Tear, which is the crappier part of the Town. Mom is actually from the Diamond as a sewer's daughter, but she screwed up her life and married Dad.

And now he's dead- Oh, how ironic.

"Gauze!" I yell, jumping ontop of him and trying to choke his neck with a hug, "I MISSED YOU GAUZE!"

"I missed you too, Evermean," he grabs my braid and pulls it hard, making me yell and pummel in the something.

"YOU TOUCHED THE HAIR!" I scream, kicking him in the ribs really hard and climbing in a tree to hide from him, "meanie!"

"GAUZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEE!" some girl voices scream, and I crack up laughing as the girls from the Diamond swarm him; they call themselves Team Gale.

As Gauze is kissed and felt by all of them, I pull out a piece of bread and rip off some with my teeth, spitting the raisans at them. That merchant boy- Pitaful Mallheart- gave me a loaf the other day when I was, like, dying in the rain. But get this- that dork burned the bread, _then _gave it to me. Who wants to eat BURNED BREAD?!

"Thank goodness..." Gauze pants on the ground, trying to get up because he's weak, "Team Gale is gone! I swear, there can't be ANYTHING worse."

"Team Peeta is worse," I wrinkle my nose in the digust, then laugh, "maybe they'll beat him up if I tell them he threw burning bread at me again."

"I hope so," he finally gets his lazy self up and climbs beside me, "so today's the Selecting."

"Duck's name is in there twice," I snicker, "I made her put her name in there more than once."

"Why? I thought you loved her,"

"I do, but she kept bugging me about being hungry."

We sit together eating the burnt bread. Taking out my bow and arrow, I shoot a flying turkey and start knawing on one of the bones hungerily.

"We'll make a good deal with Sigh," I mumur as I savor the taste of blood on my tonsils.

"Let's go already," he jumps down, grabbing my leg and yanking me down with him.

While I'm inside the Trading Booth, I notice a pin in a basket on Grimy Sigh's booth. It's a silver pin with the Town symbol in- A man straining to hold up a large boulder with a teddy bear ontop and a bow on the side.

"Here," she shoves a bag of raisans in my hand, "have a horrible day."

"I HATE RAISANS!" I screetch, grabbing the pin, "I'll take the pin instead! Have a _awful _day!"

Back at my house, Mom makes me take a bath and starts mangling my hair into some braid- Dutch or something like that. Duckie is staring at me, admiring my pretty lighty-up shoes.

"Look," I show her the pin, "I got this pin today."

"It means good luck!" she gasps, reaching for it.

"NO!" I hold it above her head, smirking when she crosses her arms while I clip it on my shirt, "as long as I wear this, nothing bad will happen to me."

"Why are you being mean to me?" she starts to cry.

"Because I love you, Duck," I ruffle up her blonde hair, and she puts her hands on her hips, glaring.

"It's Duckie!" she complains, "my name is _Duckie_!"

Rolling my eyes, I walk out of the door, along with everyone else. All of the families look scared and a few of them are crying because of it, and I can't help but shout at them to shut up. I mean, it's just a stupid Selection- it's not like anyone _dies _there.

The reason we have the Selection is so three Victims from our Town, (because we're hated by everyone but our followers on Facebook,) can compete in the Hunger is Lame Games, which is held every year by the Higher Power. In the Hunger is Lame Games, twenty five Victims fight and try to kill each other with whatever the Higher Power give them in this big room. There's one winner every year, and said winner is no longer a Victim, but a Victor.

"HELLOOO!" Messy Bell booms in the microphone, standing on the stage with an eroric looking skimpy blue dress and pink cotton candy hair, "welcome to the 74th Yearly Selection for the Hunger is Lame Games! As usual, ladies first!"

"Show us the film!" the one Victor from Town 12, Haystack Naberlathy, yells from where he's getting drunk on Diet Coke...again.

Messy ignores him and digs around the bowl, looking in a dream. It's no secret she's in in love with him...besides, she's in love with EVERYONE. Now she clicks back to the stage as I yawn, looking Gauze, who has fallen back into the clutches of Team Gale.

"Little Duck Evermean!"

My mouth falls open as my little sister starts to cry in the crowd. She comes out of the crowd of the other twelve year olds, walking stiffly on the stage before she gasps, getting an idea.

"I volunteer my sister!" she yells, and I growl. That little brat!

"And what is your sister's name?" Messy squeals excitely, taking Duckie's shoulder with her eyes falling on her chest.

"Get off of her, you kincky sicko!" I yell, storming on stage and throwing Messy off of the stage, right into Haystack and his Diet Coke, "you owe me BIG TIME, Duck!"

"It's DUCKIE!" she complains, taking out a slip of paper from the boys' bowl, "Pitaful Mallheart!"

"FREEDOM!" he shouts as he finally gets free of those Team Peeta chicks, running on the stage and looking at me all love-like. He's been in love with since we were, like, five, and I glare when I realize Duckie stole the pin from me.

Oh, how ironic.


End file.
